(This article is lighthearted satire, and is presented in the spirit of good fun!)

At Backroads Reservations, we’re especially aware that the Texas Hill Country is reliant in a big way on tourism. We’re proud to welcome people here, and to introduce them to our own little corner of heaven. With that said, we’re also aware that everyone can’t be from here; we have a tongue-in-cheeksaying that “I’m not from Texas, but I got here as fast as I could.”

As Hill Country ambassadors to the rest of the world, we get questions from our visitors. As a public service, we offer responses here to some of them.

Q: Why is it called the Hill Country?
A: (We’re standing there with a view of the Hill Country stretching out behind us, showing colorful and scenic hills and valleys) Because it’s a great place for people to let loose and kick up their hills.

Q: Who discovered the Hill Country?
A: We like to tell people it was Hank Hill. Strangely, that seems to satisfy them.

Q: Why is US Highway 290 sometimes called the “Texas Wine Highway” or “Texas Wine Trail?”
A: If you take a look at a highway map of the Lone Star State, you’ll see that US Highway 290 isn’t a completely arrow-straight road. We gave it that nickname because it wines through the Hill Country!

Q: How do you pronounce place names like Boerne, D’Hanis, Manchaca and Manor?
A: We don’t. We wait to hear you do it, so we can tell if you’re from round here or not.

Q: Do all of your highway ditches have cactus in them?
A: We realize this may look a little unusual to some of our neighbors to the north, and it’s a good question! Actually, state law dictates that we plant cactus in east-west running roads only; for the north-south ones, we plant bluebonnets. Plantings in diagonally-running roads are determined by special elections.

Q: (After having tortilla chips, waffles, cookies, and various other food items shaped like Texas, not to mention clocks, belt buckles, windows, etc.) Are all the things in your state shaped like your state?
A: Wait, yours aren’t?!

Q: Is it true everyone in Texas drinks Dr Pepper?
A: It’s true we’re proud of Dr Pepper, a Texas original from Waco that dates back to 1885. But we still import Coke and Pepsi to accommodate the tastes of the occasional outlier and out-of-towner.

Q: Speaking of soda, what’s the deal with Big Red? Is that bubble gum flavor? Cream soda? What?
A: This is another Waco native. It’s Big Red. We just drink it and don’t ask questions.

Q: Why does a lot of traditional Tejano music sound like a combination of Mariachi and polka?
A: Because that’s exactly what it is! A majority of the first European settlers in the Hill Country (and other regions of the state) came from Germany. Part of the Old World culture they brought with them was the “oompah band” sound personified by accordion and tuba accompaniment. When they met the folks of Mexican heritage living in the area, the two ethnic groups came together and started composing “fusion” pieces that adopted characteristics of both musical styles. By the way, unlike the other questions in this article, this one is a genuine answer!

Kidding aside, we know that visitors to the Hill Country have genuine questions about towns, events, restaurants, parks, and attractions. We’re proud to present the Texas Hill Country Travel App, which includes comprehensive articles and listings on all those subjects!